Lunch

One after lunch and coffee.  One after branch meeting. Sort of have heartache.  Not a good feeling whatsoever. I have reached cigarette number 5 at work and 7 all day. The one thing that i am realizing is how many different so called triggers i have psychologically created and used for my convenience!

No title

Ok this is bad. Smoke one after a coding yardstone :/ yet another trigger

Man down

Ugh! Craved In again.. Excuse this time? Was finally writing some code so I figured I will take a quick break.. nicotine monster was excited too! Should do everything e-cigs!

Office cubes and morning rain

So came to the office and saw our cubicle placements for the new office. Smoked a cig after the customary coffee in the morning. I have to quit before we move to the new office because there, I am right next to the project manager and the branch manager :O. Will keep myself away till lunch and coffee and just address the cravings with e-cigs

A failure

So with the pledge notwithstanding I smoked about 5 without a slip up note! And I started today with 2 cigs before going to work. I am taking e-cigs and a pack to office in the hope that I will reduce the 8 cigarettes I smoke at the office down to 4. Will have to be strong. October 26th is coming! :O

Interesting read trigger

Ok... This is getting off to a pretty bad start. .. but I will not give up. Gave in on a desire to smoke after reading some interesting stuff on technology and the Internet of things. . This is actually a pretty common pattern of triggering. ... After a bout of pretty intense reading on something interesting, this happens...my will cut it now.... I will attempt to cut the next craving by listening to audio economist.

After shower trigger

So I broke down after I showered. This seems to be a common trigger on weekends. Should cut this. Perhaps finding something useful to do will help me cut this short. The cig tasted bad and as usual I didn't gain anything from it :/ but in the past 2 hours I cut one craving and I will allow myself to perhaps break only after 3 hours now.

I pick October 26th.

So hidden in the vast entanglement of the Web,  I seek to pseudo-publicly declare that I have picked October 26th, 2014 to be the day I decide to quit smoking. A habit I picked up in my final year of B-Tech, smoking - with it's ghastly yet subtle doses of nicotine has had me trapped in an endless cycle of supposed coping mechanism and guilt/remorse. The two times I spent (voluntarily or not) without smoking for about three months saw me hit the abyss of Depression and I am not willing to accept that the nicotine monster holds sway over my otherwise prudent nature. I will look to this day as a day I started one of the hardest challenges I ever met in my 25 years. Excuses and reasons - which at that time seemed sort of fair are holding me back and it is really time I took charge of my life and I will not stand for this bullshit vicious cycle I have found myself entangled in. I will post to this blog as often as I can and keep a sort of public record of how I progress and handle those nasty cravings and I pledge to record every slip on the way. May the best man win!